When you begin to notice these signs, the witches and wizards in your village are following you church.
1. When the customer you defrauded is the guest preacher in your church and he sets his eyes on you
2. If you're sex chatting during the sermon because you ain't feeling it, only for you to mistakenly send your unclad picture to the church whatsapp group thinking it was the person you're sex chatting with.
3. As the youth pastor of your church, you asked the people to embark on three days rigorous dry fasting, only for you to vomit pounded yam and egusi soup the last day
4. If you stepped out to give testimony about how God delivered you from fornication, only for you to take a step back to your seat and a packet of Gold circle condom drops from your pocket
5. When you bring your tithe to church on Sunday, only to take an excuse from the ushers and headed straight to Bet9ja shop to blow your tithe
6. Wen you refuse to open the door on Saturday morning for a visitor thinking it's Jehovah witness people, only to get to church on Sunday and sister Janet shares a testimony about how an ignorant person he visited missed his blessing.
7. When u are invited to climb the podium and address the youths, only to realise the congregation is full of pretty and well-shaped babes and you begin to have an errection
8. During sermon, if an invited pastor points to you telling that you fornicated before coming to church. Meanwhile your parents and other family members dey beside you oooo
9. If your you girlfriend storms into the church during your wedding with pictorial evidence of the pregnancy test and abortion she did for you
10. If you want to give N50 as offering, only to dip your hand into your pocket and gave the N1, 000 you want to give a debtor
I drop my pen at this point
Feel free to add yours
Written by: Tosyne2much
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